How to Break Up with a Friend.

09 Jun 2014 Comments Off on How to Break Up with a Friend. , , , , ,

 Breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes we reach a point in our life when we realize that a friendship is becoming toxic, and it is time to say goodbye. It is never easy, but it might be the best decision in the long run.

Here are some options:

Option 1: Whether it is a friendship that is slowly dwindling or someone you see regularly, it can be helpful to be open and have that difficult break-up conversation.You do not need to explain every detail, but you can be direct. Some examples: I have really valued our friendship, but it seems we are going in different directions.Or, we have changed a lot and no longer see eye to eye.Depending on the nature of your relationship, she may be shocked, defensive or outraged. It is important to hold your ground. What would you do if you were breaking up with a guy/girl you no longer wanted to see? You would be polite yet firm and insistent.

Option 2: Slowly stop responding to texts and voicemails. When she asks you to get together, having constant excuses will help her eventually get the hint. If she does not, you may still be stuck with option 1.

No matter what option you choose:

1. Be consistent with your boundaries. Just like it is hard to let go of an intimate relationship, it can be hard to let go of a friendship. With that said, just like with partners, if you waffle and give mixed messages, he or she will get the wrong idea. Stay firm; there is no need for three last offeedates.

2. No trash talking. As difficult as this rule might be, do your best not to talk behind your former friend’s back. It may get back to him or her, and it also might make you look like the jerk. Try to let it go; if mutual friends ask what is going on, just say something general like We have grown apart. When there are no juicy details, people tend to quickly move on. If you start going on about how your former friend is needy, stole your partner or never returned your favorite sunglasses, it will add fuel to the fire and cause drama. Just let it go.

Ultimately, we should surround ourselves with positive, caring, inspiring friendships. This cannot always be the case, but if you find you keep choosing the wrong friends or are consistently hurt by people in your life, it might be time to talk to a professional. Counselling is a good way to understand themes in your life and the relationships you choose.